Hello and welcome to my blog! My name is Bethany (but you can call me B from here on out) and I started this blog to hopefully help sort out the feelings and thoughts running through my brain on a daily basis. I am one-half of an awesome lesbian duo and we’re setting out on the journey of making a baby! For this go-round I am the “other mother”, the mother not carrying the baby. Don’t get me wrong, I do want to carry a child in my womb, but for the first one, it will be my lovely partner Jenn’s turn, mostly due to the fact that she is a little older than me and she is relatively complication free in regards to her fertility. My time will come and for now I am a-OK with being her helper through this exciting and sometimes scary adventure.
First, I’d like to tell you a little about us (especially if you’re going to be sticking around for the long-haul!). As I said before, I’m B and my partner is Jenn. Our anniversary is February 1, 2008, so we’ve been together about 3.5 years…and counting! It was my first serious relationship, and my first one with a woman nonetheless! Jenn, however, has been “out and about” since she was a teenager. She has had a few relationships, and even dabbled in the man-zone when she was in college. Ultimately though, she found herself in a pretty bad relationship with a girl for about 6 years which ended in a not-so-good way. She had wanted a happy future and that was just something that wasn’t happening with the person she was with. Eventually they split and Jenn found herself immersing her time and energy into playing roller derby and staying out drinking with the girls on the team. She was enjoying being single and having a good time with no obligations…until I came along.
Jenn and I actually met at work. My mom was one of her managers in another department of the bank we worked at. Jenn had seen my name on paper, and she had seen me walking around, but she had no idea who I was. Eventually our paths crossed and she gathered up the courage to come talk to me. We grew to be friends and I invited her over to my roommate’s house for a little New Years’ get-together. That night, after everyone else went to sleep, we stayed up talking until the sun came up. She eventually told me how she had feelings for me, and honestly, I was shocked. I had never run into this situation before and in my confusion and inner turmoil, I hurriedly told her I didn’t feel the same way. Truth be told, I had liked her for some time and was just scared of my feelings (being an ex-Christian would do that to you too!). Being afraid seems silly now, but at the time I was terrified. We “officially” became a couple on February 1, 2008, when I took her to a quiet place on the beach and told her I did have feelings for her and that I wanted to be in a relationship with her. In March, I told my family of our relationship. My family had some struggles when I “came out” as a lesbian and told them about Jenn and I, especially since they had known her previously, just not as my girlfriend. There was a period of time when I wondered if everything would end up OK and eventually, time and patience paid off, and we are now one big happy family. My family grew to understand that I still want a “normal” life – marriage, kids, the house, etc. It just took time for them to embrace my lifestyle and realize that I could still have all those things with a woman instead of a man, too.
About a year into our relationship, we both knew that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. We have been planning on getting married since then, but unfortunately in the United States and our home state of Florida, it is no easy task! We have little to no rights and marriage equality is out of the question here. Regardless, plans are in the works to officially get married out of state. Being married is a dream that we both share and having a family together is a natural progression of that dream.
Like everyone else, we need all the support we can get, and I’d like to think we could lend some support to others sharing our struggles and triumphs. I hope you stick around with us on this journey…and buckle up, because it’s going to be a bumpy ride!
Here we are! Jenn (left) and B (right)