What’s In There?

After 3 months of TTC with our frozen baby batter from NYC, you would think the FedEx employees at our drop-off location would not keep asking us the same question: “What’s in there?” Let it be noted that the FedEx employees’ raised eyebrows and questioning, if not fearful, glances between the tank and us, is pretty funny. We’ve dropped our empty tank off at this same location three times now, and picked it up there twice since beginning our TTC journey, so it should be familiar, but in all fairness, if I were an average FedEx employee, I may not have seen one of these contraptions before, and therefore would also be curious as to what was inside.

The first time we dropped it back off to FedEx in July, the guy refused to even pick it up to put it on the scale, so we had to. He kept looking at Jenn, then me, then back to the tank, and repeat. Twice. As he’s printing out the paperwork for us to sign, you could tell he was just itching to know what type of explosives we were shipping to NYC. So Jenn just said: “It’s a baby. Well, hopefully. It’s a nitrogen tank for shipping sperm.” I don’t know if that creeped him out more than the two white girls shipping explosives or whatever he was thinking, but he just kind of nodded, handed us our shipping confirmation, and gingerly removed the tank from the scale and put it behind the counter. Okay then. We both left FedEx and walked to car, laughing and shaking our heads at how silly people can be.

For the second try in August, I picked the tank up at FedEx on my lunch break. The lady was very nice and didn’t ask any questions or give any odd looks. But when we dropped it back off together, I could tell she was also curious as to what was inside. She didn’t seem quite as fearful as the first guy (to be fair, she actually picked it up to put it on the scale herself) and as she was preparing our shipping label she casually said “Is $100 coverage okay for shipping?” We said yes and Jenn told her it was just an empty nitrogen tank we were returning. The woman behind the counter then said “Oh, is that what’s in there? I wondered…I thought it was bees!” So we then tell her how they ship frozen sperm to us for home inseminations and this is our second try. All in all she was far more receptive than the first guy we had dealt with and she wished us luck as we took our shipping confirmation slip and headed out to the car. We don’t mind educating people, and surprisingly, most people are receptive and positive about it. When we got to the car, we laughed so hard. Bees? Oh boy, is that what people are thinking?

Needless to say, the second try didn’t work so Jenn ended up picking up the tank at FedEx at the end of August. We returned the tank a few days later and by now we know the drill. We put the tank up on the scale, the label is already prepared and signed, and the woman behind the counter just has to fill their part out. It was a different woman than last time and she was very chatty and nice. We were making small talk and she says “I just have to ask, what’s in there?” Jenn and I smile and tell her that its just a case that is holding an empty nitrogen tank. We are returning it because we’ve already used the sperm that was in it for an at-home insemination, our third try. The light-bulb clicks on and she laughs “Oh! That’s awesome! I thought it was water and I thought “Why would someone FedEx water?” but we’ve gotten weirder shipments that’s for sure.” She hands us our shipping confirmation and adds “Good luck girls! I hope you don’t have to come back, because that means it worked! Third time’s a charm!” We took our confirmation and left FedEx. When we got in the car, we just looked at each other and smiled. The FedEx lady is not the only one hoping the third time’s the charm.


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