And So We Wait Again!

Let’s kick off this blog with some happy news: our wedding date is quickly approaching! Next week can’t come soon enough for the both of us. Next Tuesday J’s work is throwing her a bridal shower which I thought was super cute and nice of them. We decided to write our vows together and we finished them last week. And despite our first set of wedding bands looking horribly manly, yesterday we received our replacements which are much more appealing. We have been searching for dresses/skirts/outfits for a couple months now too, preferably something that didn’t make us look like an Easter egg or 100 months pregnant, and FINALLY found something we loved on Old Navy.com Monday night that fits what we want perfectly. It should arrive tomorrow afternoon. Nothing like cutting it close, huh! I emailed our wedding officiate for some last-minute details and our flight and hotel confirmations are printed and ready to go. Next hurdle: packing…enough said. 🙂

As for the baby stuff, let’s just say that I have always thought God has a sense of humor. J and I have always joked that we won’t get pregnant until we are married. So our IUI this month was supposed to be around 3-4 days before our trip to DC. We figured, “Hey! That’s close enough to count for being married first, right? I mean, you may not actually conceive until after we are married.” The funny thing is that God is apparently a little more strict than we are! J went back to the doctor yesterday for her follow-up ultrasound. All of the cysts on her left ovary were gone and new follicles were beginning to form, which is great! Unfortunately there was one cyst left on the right ovary, which can complicate things. So now we wait. Again.

And if the cyst isn’t gone by next month, then J may have to go on birth control for a month to see if the hormones will shrink/get rid of it. Oy vey. Let’s just hope it doesn’t come to that. I can’t imagine us sitting out for another month!

We are discouraged, sure. Upset, definitely. Sad, absolutely. But we know that it is all in the timing and that there must be a bigger plan out there for why we are spending another month on a trying-to-conceive hiatus. In the big scheme of things, its okay that we have to wait. After all, we will be travelling to DC and the added stress of are-we-aren’t-we on top of that could have been too much for us to take. LOL

So we are just going to have our trip, enjoy ourselves, and we’ll do all we can to keep healthy and get this cyst to go away. We’ve started back on the lower carb diet after falling off the wagon for a couple weeks. Its going to be hell for a few days, but its worth it not to feel like crap and make sure J’s hormones are all straightened out and in prime baby-making mode. Its especially hard to think that maybe the cyst would have been gone if we’d stayed true to our diet…but its in the past and we can’t beat ourselves up over it now.

All we can do is look ahead to all of the good things coming our way…our wedding next week is the big highlight we can’t wait for! 🙂 We are so ready for a vacation. Also, school is wrapping up (FINALLY!) and will be done in the next couple weeks. We’re starting our cake decorating classes next month, too. And keeping optimism high, there could soon be a little soul on its way to us. Maybe we had to be 100% married before it could happen. Who knows! It is so difficult to be patient, but what else can we do? All I know is that we’re just going to continue on our path and do the best we can do to make sure we are open and ready for our little one to come into our lives.

Wish us a good, safe trip, and happy wedding/honeymoon. I’m sure we’ll have an update and/or some pictures for you after the trip. 🙂

-B

Countdowns

Its funny how, when trying to conceive, you begin to measure your life in two week increments. Two weeks until this doctor’s appointment, two weeks until this medication, two weeks until you get a negative or a positive. Although we’ve taken this month off from attempted baby-making, we’re still measuring time this way. For example, its been two weeks since our last blog posting and last night as we were sitting down to our homemade spaghetti dinner, J turns to me and says, “I miss the blog.” I said “How can you miss it? It is us! And there’s nothing going on anyway.” She said that she knew that, but she still missed it and reading what I had to say about our lives. So we laughed and although nothing exciting is going on in our neck of the woods, the truth is I miss it too, and all that goes with it. However hectic and stressful it can be, I do miss the countdowns to doctor’s visits and ovulation and even the 2WW (just a little bit on that one). It seems to give us something to look forward to, to plan for, and as you all know we are huge planners! We have taken this forced break in stride and it has really helped us re-focus and get back into a positive mindset.

And despite having no solid baby-making related countdowns at this point in time, we do have a lot going on this month that we are looking forward to. We have about a week until we go back to the fertility doctor for him to check on J’s cysts and hopefully they will be gone so we can proceed with the next IUI toward the end of the month. We have our niece’s 2nd birthday party to go to and we are excited to see J’s sister which we have been wanting to do for some time now! Not to mention I get to see my BFF (J’s cousin) which always puts me in a good mood. My aunt’s birthday is later this month and we are supposed to be going out to dinner to celebrate that as well. We don’t get to see her as often as we’d like so that should be a nice treat! School is wrapping up this month and we’ve both got projects and finals to finish up and we are looking forward to the Summer break VERY much. We’re also going to be starting our cake decorating classes after school is finished which we are really excited about (thanks Mom!).

Oh, and one more thing to look forward to of course…this month I finally get to marry the love of my life. 🙂

I’m super excited about this new chapter of our lives together. Even after 4 years it seems like just yesterday was when it all began. Everyone says that marriage changes a relationship, and I can only hope that we continue to grow closer and more in love as time goes on. We have everything finalized with our officiant and our trip is all planned out to Washington DC. I hope we haven’t missed the blooming of the cherry blossoms as I have heard they are really beautiful to see. A few people have told us that maybe God is waiting to give us a baby until after we are married and honestly, I’m okay with that logic. Believe it or not, we are such by-the-book people that I’m okay if God is being old-fashioned here. I like the idea of being traditional inasmuch as we can be, being two women. So many people think that being a lesbian means you throw out all the rulebooks and generic traditions, but not us. So if God wants to wait until after “I Do” to bless us with our little one, I’ll let Him have His way. 😉

So despite not being in the middle of a two-week wait right now, it feels good to just pop in and say hello and to let you know what’s going on with us lately. Hopefully we get some good news at the next doctor’s appointment and we can begin the next cycle of go-wait-go all over again soon. 🙂

Until next time…

-B