18 Weeks & Navigating Uncharted Territory

Welcome to the fifth month of pregnancy! We are fast approaching the halfway mark and we are so anxious to meet our little one! I have heard it said before, that it is like missing someone that you haven’t even met yet, and that is so true. I dream about the day we get to meet our baby and the things we will do as he/she grows into a little person day by day. I can’t wait for the memories and all of the adventures parenting will bring to us. It is truly a journey into uncharted territory, without a map and only a few guides (our parents) that we trust to help us navigate these unruly waters.

Speaking of uncharted territory…I don’t think people really understand what it means to be lesbians making babies. I created this blog not only to chronicle our journey into parenthood but also to be a resource and a help for others going through similar or same situations. When we first began our journey, there was little information that I could find to help us figure out where to even start with the baby-making. All we knew was that we needed sperm and neither of us had that to offer. We found our donor pretty easily and the second we saw his baby picture we knew he was the one for us. We got the go-ahead from our OBGYN in May 2011. So now what? We tried inseminating at home a few times and when that didn’t work, we finally found out about the only fertility doctor in our area. In 5 months of seeing the fertility doctor and two attempts at insemination, we were finally pregnant. The whole journey to actually conceiving took us about a year, and what a year that was. Roller coaster, much? 🙂

Now that we were pregnant, you would think that a simple Google search would give you all the answers you could possibly need. There are literally dozens of pregnancy apps available for Android and iPhone and plenty of books such as What to Expect When You’re Expecting. But they are all made for straight people with references to Dads and how sex can be awkward now. That’s not very helpful for us! There is little to no information about gay or lesbian pregnancy online. We are all that we have, but we must seek each other out for safety in numbers, it seems. We have a few “blog friends” that are also lesbians making babies, and we read (or at least I read and then convey the info to J) their blogs with dedication and curiosity. Some are further ahead in their pregnancies than us and some have already had their little ones and are now blogging about parenthood and its woes and wows. It is so nice to read about their experiences and see what we may have to look forward to. I can only hope that my blog can help others too.

In fact, it may have already done that! We received an email on the blog this past week from a woman in NYC that is using the same donor we are. I couldn’t believe it! I knew that he had at least two other donor children, a boy and a girl, in late 2011 from a Donor Sibling Registry search, but another person at the same time as us is crazy! She emailed to say good luck and that maybe we could keep in touch. When my mom was pregnant with my sister, she joined a group called FebMoms, and they were a bunch of pregnant women that were all due in February 1996. They had a whole thing set up where they could email each other and have that support group there. They even all got together and met once, with their Feb Babies in tow. I think that is kind of neat. I would imagine there are other such groups out there, but one for donor children? Now there’s something I had never thought of before. Maybe one day we will have a group where other donor kids can get together or at least keep in touch, because I’m sure one day in the midst of their teen angst, we will hear “You don’t understand being a donor kid! I’m the only person like me!” I’m not being pessimistic, I’m just being truthful! But I guess we will see. No sense worrying about it right now, but it is kind of cool that there is someone else out there going through the exact same thing as us, or at least, really damn close. We aren’t sure how we feel about it just yet, though…it is cool but still a little strange. I mean, who else has gone through this? We are definitely in uncharted territory now.

Back to baby news, we FINALLY have our ultrasound next Friday (YAY! :)) and can’t wait to see our little guy or girl again. It feels like it has been forever since we last saw the baby. We want to know so badly so we can call it by a name already! So I guess we will see. Keep your fingers crossed that he/she doesn’t keep her legs crossed again. 🙂 The baby has been REALLY active lately and causing J some pain. I read this week that the intestines are moving up and so that is probably what is going on. Other than that, not much to report yet, we are just waiting for the ultrasound!

Our little sweetie is the size of a sweet potato this week, weighing in at almost 7 ounces and measuring just about 6 inches long. Baby’s blood vessels are visible through the paper-thin skin and the ears are now settled in their permanent positions. Baby now yawns, hiccups, rolls, and twists in the uterus, and the movements in the womb should be noticeable by now as baby begins moving more and more in the coming weeks. If its a girl in there, the uterus and fallopian tubes are now fully formed and if its a boy, the genitals are now noticeable, even if he’s hiding them during the ultrasound.

This little guy or girl is a mover and a shaker!


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Robin Jones
    Sep 08, 2012 @ 11:02:28

    I’ll take some butter with that little sweet potato!
    I am praying that the ultrasound shows HER/him. Lol. I am really just joking when I call her a her. I will be just as happy either way. I Love both boy and girl names you picked and I am just anxious for a healthy grand baby of either gender.


  2. birminghambell
    Sep 08, 2012 @ 13:39:58

    Exciting!!!!!!! Have fun next week at the ultrasound!! I would often want to cancel the DR visits with no ultrasound involved haha…no fun going unless you get to see the baby I thought!! 🙂 We will see ours again in 2 weeks!


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