TODDlings

As most of you know, our sperm donor for Jaxson was a guy nicknamed “Todd”. The childhood picture NY Cryos gives you seems to indicate that he’s a very handsome fellow and so its no surprise that a lot of women would choose him to “father” their children! I have mentioned before that I have had a few people reach out to me because of this blog who have also chosen him, and while overwhelming at first, it is actually pretty cool now. Times are changing and this new world we live in is changing the shape and face of families and the future.

I keep a running list of the TODDling parents that have found me via this blog. So far we know of 14 total families plus ours, two of which include TODD siblings:

  1. V & K in Washington, girl born November 2010 & boy born January 2015.
  2. C in Norway, girl born May 2011.
  3. J & S in California, boy born August 2011 & girl born February 2015.
  4. A in Pennsylvania, girl born August 2011.
  5. P in Germany, girl born November 2011.
  6. M & T in Florida, girl born November 2011.
  7. M & G in Illinois, boy born December 2011.
  8. K in New York, girl born August 2012.
  9. M & T in Denmark, girl born November 2012.
  10. C & K in Arizona, girl born December 2012.
  11. C in New York, girl born December 2012.
  12. C & A in England, girl born January 2013.
  13. B & J (that’s us!) in Florida, boy born January 2013.
  14. H in Israel, boy born February 2013.
  15. L & L in New York, girl born May 2013.

I have most of these other moms on Facebook which is quite wonderful since I love looking at the pictures of their babies. It is so amazing how similar they all really look to each other! I’m sure they enjoy perusing the deluge of pictures J and I also take and post. C and I had discussed briefly about maybe starting up a private Facebook group for all of us to keep in touch, and in June 2014 we finally did. It is almost comforting in a way to know that there are other moms out there, dealing with similar issues, and its actually valid advice and information because our children are related. Our children have the same half-sibling relationship as my brother and sister do to me, and I think that is pretty neat. I think we are all still hesitant to be like, “Hey you, you’re a donor kid and these are your brothers and sisters.” It’s different and deeper than that, but I do still feel invested in the others’ lives. I care about them and wonder about them and wonder how they are dealing with life and developing into little people. I feel almost as I would imagine a step-parent does, sharing a connection with these children that isn’t required, but freely given. We are, I believe, creating a new “normal” in this crazy world of ours.

I’m glad to be a part of that, and if there are any more TODDlings out there, please reach out to me! You can leave a blog comment, or email me at beffoney@gmail.com. If you’re on Facebook, I’ll find you and add you on Facebook so I can add you to the private group. We’d all love to get to know you!

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8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Nora
    Mar 29, 2013 @ 16:43:59

    Hello,

    I don’t know if it has occurred to you (probably) but it would be a good idea to keep in touch with the other parents as to allergies and any other medical issues that could possibly affect yours or any other related child.

    Nora

    Reply

  2. Roxxroxx
    May 26, 2013 @ 21:35:00

    Hey, this is interesting. How are you feeling about this as time goes on? I’m not sure how I would like it (but you never know till you’re there, right?). Someone at AW’s work was half joking about wanting to use our sperm donor (she used to work with him too) and I didn’t like the idea. I think that in our case that’s never going to happen because our donor has recently married his gf and then told her that he thinks the world is a terrible place and he doesn’t want children of his own (after making two for us!!). She isn’t annoyed with us, unbelievably, but she’s extremely pissed at her new husband. Watch this space!

    Reply

    • B
      Jun 11, 2013 @ 21:01:29

      It was a strange idea at first, definitely. Since our donor is no longer active, the child I give birth to in the future may or may not have the same network or opportunities as Jax will, and that concerns me the most. Finding the other moms has been both enlightening and comforting – here someone else has literally gone through many of the same crises and trials as us. It is nice to have the sense of connection with them and the understanding, especially in a world that often doesn’t understand donor children or parents like us. One of the moms is hesitant to get involved and I completely understand that and respect it, but I am so thankful for the moms that have kept in touch and shared their experiences with their Todd babies. 🙂

      Reply

  3. Maria
    Apr 27, 2014 @ 14:52:13

    Oh… my god. We have a girl (18 month) with the donor TODD from Cryos. I am quite overwelmed right now, but please email me when you have the time 🙂

    Reply

  4. Ari Allen
    Jun 23, 2014 @ 22:51:40

    Hello. Thank u all who reached out. All comments above appreciated and well said! Lots to think about but overall feeling excited to learn about the new families 🙂 yes yes a little overwhelmed. My daughter is almost 3 now. She is such an angel. New facebook page is awesome bringing everyone together! Onward…

    Reply

  5. Camille Rankin
    Jul 30, 2014 @ 12:46:21

    I have a 20 month old BEAUTIFUL Toddling!

    Reply

    • B
      Jul 30, 2014 @ 14:03:48

      Awesome! If you’re on Facebook, we have a private group for all of us if you’re interested in joining. 🙂

      Reply

  6. Sunnivas mum
    Feb 13, 2015 @ 14:14:24

    Hi, I have Toddling; girl born in may 2011. We live in Norway:)

    Reply

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