Planning Ahead

Anyone who knows J and I know that we are planners. Like super-planners! Our wonderful life wasn’t just handed to us, we worked hard to get to where we are and accomplish what we have. And Jaxson is no exception. If you’ve been following this blog since day 1, you know that we actually began down the path to getting pregnant a whole year before we even conceived. And that’s just the specifics (picking the donor, getting screened, fertility treatments, financial planning, etc.). That’s not counting the years of just planning in general to have a family, something we both knew early on and planned out so that when the time came, we were ready.

Many people have started to ask us if we’re going to have more children (the simple answer: yes of course we are!). J is adamant about her pregnancy with Jax being her “one-and-done” so it will be my turn next. Unless for some unforeseen reason I am unable to have children, at which point we will discuss and plan accordingly which could mean she may go again (I don’t know how likely that is!), or maybe we’ll adopt. We’re not certain about our “backup plans” nor are we too concerned that we’ll have to use them, because there is really no reason (with the help of fertility treatments and modern medicine) why I won’t be able to get pregnant. So that’s the plan we’re going with.

The other question people ask after we answer that yes of course we want to have more children, is when? RIGHT NOW! Just kidding! 🙂 But seriously, I think its around this age that moms start having that yearning to have another baby. I follow the blogs of a couple of different moms and this has been a recurring thought on each and every one of their blogs lately. One couple has just found out they are expecting another girl, another couple has been thinking about bringing their kid total up to 3, and yet another couple whose twins are about two months older than Jax have discussed wanting to have more too. I have to admit that we’ve talked about it since Jax was about 4 months old! LOL We already knew we would have more, so there was never a question of if, but rather of when we would/could add to our family. We knew the approximate age gap we’d like to have between Jax and his sibling(s) and have been planning accordingly to meet that goal. So the simple answer to when we’ll be starting this journey all over again: August 2014.

We are going to use the same sperm bank but since our previous donor Todd is no longer available, we had to pick a different one (which we have already done!). We’re both okay with the kids having different donors because they will have the same mommies and that’s what really matters here. Genetics don’t make a family, love does, and we have plenty of that to go around. 🙂

Now comes the fun part, getting me ready to have a baby. We are lucky that J went first and so as a “first-time mom” I have her experience to reference and learn from. I was there every step of the way, for the aches and pains and cravings and maternity clothes shopping. Based on her experience, she’s not going to let me make the same bad choices she did, and to start off, we’re both working on losing the baby weight (plus some). We both gained a lot while she was pregnant with Jax, and its taken 7 months to get our act together and work on getting the weight off. We’ve done it before with great success and we’re going to do it again – we’ve both been counting calories since September and we’ve already lost over 15 pounds each.

One thing J really hated about her pregnancy was how big and uncomfortable she was, and already being overweight didn’t help her any and put her at higher risk. She doesn’t want to see the same thing happen to me (especially since my company has a crappy maternity leave policy now, plus I have a bad back) and wants me to have as healthy and happy a pregnancy as possible without carrying around extra weight from the start. So we’re working on getting healthy, not just for ourselves or the new baby but for Jaxson, so that we can be a good example to him and help him make good choices too. My deadline for when I’d like to start trying to get pregnant is August 2014, and that is plenty of time to get to a healthy weight safely and if it happens before then, great – maybe we’ll move that date up some! I have to tell you, wanting to get pregnant is great motivation for weight loss, especially since my biological clock has started tick-tocking and my body is feeling the pressure to make a baby!

Besides, Jax is way too spoiled to remain an only child for too long. We’ve got to fix that! 🙂


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Denise Dorris
    Oct 23, 2013 @ 17:07:13

    I’m so happy to hear you both want more children..and that Bethany gets to have and share the experience ! My own daughter is an only child but unlike me she has three the younger two are so close it’s like they were born twins LOL Colin is 5 Maddie is 4
    Andon is 9 and loves them but does not share the same special connection .
    Take care love to all ! Denise


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