Insomnia

I was up this morning at 5:30, went pee, and laid back down and snuggled in close to my wife. I closed my eyes, settled down, and tried to go back to sleep. At 6:15 I gave up and went to the living room to play Candy Crush, hoping it would make me tired enough to go back to bed. I trolled Facebook, checked emails, caught up on my blog roll, and it’s now 7:00 and the sun is just starting to lighten the sky outside. The cat is yelling because he can’t figure out why I’m awake and my wife isn’t, and the guinea pigs are munching on hay across the room. I’m out of lives on Candy Crush, tired but not sleepy, and my head is spinning with all these thoughts and I can’t get my brain to Just. Shut. Up. What am I thinking about?

Why, getting pregnant of course! Isn’t that what keeps all of us here up all night? Ever since I got the go-ahead from the doctor, my wife and I have been discussing it almost nonstop. I am ready to try ASAP, she wants to wait at least a couple months, which I agree with too, honestly, especially with the busy holiday season coming up. But it’s almost as if my body is so ready it’s yelling at me to get this show on the road while my brain and heart are saying to wait. I know our next child is out there, waiting for us, but it doesn’t feel like it’s quite the right time just yet. Soon but not yet. And so in the meantime I’ve been keeping myself busy researching, planning, dreaming (just not while sleeping obviously) and the wheels in my head have been spinning, keeping me awake.

Sigh…I think I’ll go try to lay back down now. At the least, I can spend the rest of the morning snuggling my wife before Jax wakes up. 🙂

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. DeCaf
    Sep 28, 2014 @ 10:07:05

    Morning insomnia is no fun. Also Candy Crush does not give one enough lives quickly enough.

    I completely understand the whole “I want to do this ASAP” feeling, I felt like that last summer, but my wife was nowhere near getting on board (I had never expressed an interest in carrying before, so we had planned on doing foster-adoption).So I waited until she was on board. Then I was laid off and a lot of random shit happened that almost all sucked. In hindsight I’m glad I waited. It made it less stressful if I could count on my spouse being at her maximum level of support possible.

    Reply

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