Grow Follicle Grow!

I went back to the doctor today to check on how I responded to the Clomid. I knew something was up when there was a long silence after the ultrasound began. I had a bunch of little immature follicles on the right and left ovary, and only one lead (large) follicle on the right. My uterine lining was still thin as well, so I’ll be going back on Friday to see if that one follicle grows enough to proceed. If not, I’ll have to do 100 mg of Clomid next go-round and this cycle will most likely be a bust. 😦

I held it together until I got back outside to the car (J was waiting for me with Jax) and when I told her our status, I started crying of course. She was really great, doing her best to keep positive and cheer me up. She said we aren’t out until we’re out. And if we are, then we will just try again.

I’m just feeling really disappointed in my body, especially when up to now everything else has been perfect and smooth sailing. I just didn’t want this whole thing to have been a waste this month! I know that is a really negative way to think, but I have trouble when I get super excited and then something like this happens, I get all “doom and gloom” about it. J had to remind me that I can’t compare my experience to hers because we are totally different with our bodies and our cycles. Like she said, maybe I don’t respond as easily/well to the low dose of Clomid like she did, and next time the dose will be better. Maybe this is my brand of PCOS, where I have trouble growing follicles big enough, but hey – it only takes one. Maybe I just take a little longer to grow follicles and when I go back Friday, it’ll be good news.

Yeah, I’m going to focus on that maybe. 🙂

Update: I got home and read my horoscope for today, and while I never place much stock in them (they are just for fun for me) the advice of today’s was pretty on-point with how I’m feeling (failure):

You can’t bear to keep pushing toward what looks like failure — but if you can somehow trick yourself into optimism, you are likely to end up in exactly the right position when all is said and done.

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6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. inthebabycloset
    Dec 08, 2014 @ 11:01:23

    I know that feeling all too well! I’ve learned that Clomid resistance is not uncommon with PCOS. That said, my first Clomid cycle my follicle was slow to grow but did get big enough. It just took a bit longer for my body to “recruit” (as my doctor put it). I hope you get good news on Friday! Grow grow grow!

    Reply

  2. waitingforourbossbaby
    Dec 08, 2014 @ 11:08:25

    Grow. Grow. Grow. I hope Friday brings good news.

    Reply

  3. Molly
    Dec 08, 2014 @ 12:18:40

    My first clomid cycle was painfully slow. They did improve somewhat once my dose was increased. Fingers crossed you’ll get there!

    Reply

    • B
      Dec 08, 2014 @ 13:46:04

      Thank you! I know it is just trial and error to get the dose right. At least I have the utmost confidence in my doc, so that helps too.

      Reply

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