Jaxson’s Arrival

I finally have a few minutes to sit down and take a breather, so I wanted to write about the events leading up to our little man Jaxson ending up in our arms 2 weeks early. 🙂

It was Thursday, January 31, 2013, at 4:45 a.m., and I was sleeping. J had gotten up to go to the bathroom and all of a sudden, I hear her say (not yell, not scream, just quietly say) “Baby, something happened.” I awoke and jumped out of bed, nearly tripped over Bubba since he was laying on the floor at the end of my side of the bed, stumbled to the bathroom, and see the look of horror/shock on J’s face. I don’t know why, but I automatically think worst case scenario. She explains to me that she peed, and then when she went to get up, there was a POP and a gush of fluid. She thought she had peed and couldn’t control herself! I had her put on a pad and when she got up, there was a lot of blood, so we knew we had to get to the hospital soon. After nearly passing out and having to sit down with my head between my legs (talk about an adrenaline rush!) we quickly packed her bag for the hospital, grabbed all of Jax’s stuff we had already packed, and loaded up the car. We stopped by our neighborhood Starbucks, which was pretty funny, because they know us there and the guy goes, “You guys are up early today.” I replied, “Well, we’re having a baby!” His eyes go wide and his mouth drops open as he says, “Right now?! And you came to Starbucks!” Our manager friend came to the window to wish us luck and with drinks in hand we stopped by McDonald’s for an egg mcmuffin and headed to the hospital. J was having minor contractions the whole time, but nothing too major or painful yet.

At 5:45 a.m., we were finally at the hospital. It took nearly another hour until we made it to our labor & delivery room and our parents showed up shortly thereafter. Everyone was super excited and anxious and nervous, especially J and I. After all, Jax was coming 2 weeks early and while we were ready for him to be here, were we really ready?!

J was only 1 cm and barely effaced when we got to the hospital. By 10 a.m. she was 3-4 cm and 30% effaced, and frustrated that she wasn’t getting anywhere quickly. She’s not a very patient person sometimes! 😉 Dr. Johnson came by and started her on pitocin to get the contractions going more steadily and you could tell by her face that she was definitely starting to hurt. She couldn’t speak through a contraction and they were coming very closely together, so she finally decided to get an epidural. The anesthesiologist came in about 20 minutes later and got her prepped for the epidural and I luckily got to stay in the room with her to hold her hand, because she was super nervous about it. She kept having serious contractions throughout the epidural, he had to use 4 shots of numbing agent, and the epidural kept going to the left side when he was inserting it. She was in excruciating pain and trying to hold in her tears until he was done. Finally, it was in place and everyone stayed out of the room for a while so she could regain her composure. When it finally started kicking in, she was not feeling any pain or contractions, so it was worth it, but it was hell to get it in there.

Around lunch time, J’s mom and cousin Betti ran to Target to do some shopping and her mom picked up the breast pump we had been wanting and waiting to buy. We were so surprised and grateful! They also got us the equipment to store the breastmilk in the freezer and also this yummy honey apple body wash for Jax that we had fallen in love with. During our wait for Jax, J’s mom said the cutest thing as she started crying, “I never thought my gay baby would be having a baby!” How times have surely changed! 🙂

Dr. Johnson came in again and checked on J and then came back around 5 p.m. to let us know that Dr. Connors would be taking over from there. Yes, Dr. Connors made it back in time for Jax to be born! You know we had been waiting for her! 🙂 We were so excited and happy, although Dr. Johnson had been wonderful to us during her time with us and we would have been fine having her deliver Jaxson too. J was finally dilated to 9 cm and 100% effaced. Jaxson was on his way!

At about 6:30 p.m. J was finally dilated to 10 cm and fully effaced. The nurse kicked everyone out except for my mom, me, and J’s mom to do some practice pushes to get ready for the big-time pushing. Our nurse, Angie, was awesome. She was funny and really nice and gave good coaching to J. My mom made me go stand by J’s leg and I got to help hold her leg while she was pushing and be her support. Her mom was at her other side hooting and hollering and going nuts yelling and counting to 10 during the pushes and my mom was wiping J’s face down and telling her to keep her chin down, to which J kept saying NO! and my mom just told her to do it anyway.

We had some funny moments (well, not J!) and laughed at her mom’s porn movie hollerings (Give it to me! Harder! Come on do it!) and finally, after much exhaustion, a little bit of oxygen through a mask, and a lot of pushing, Angie told J to STOP PUSHING! She called for Dr. Connors and J had to push a few more times, until at 8:14 p.m., he popped out and took all of our breaths away. The grandmas were crying, J was crying, and I was crying. We were all just so overwhelmed that it was finally over and he was here! They cleaned him up while J was being sewn up (she had a small tear) and he got weighed and measured. Our perfect little man weighed 7 lb 13 oz and was 20.5 inches long. He had a lot of bruising on his face and back of his head, even his little shoulder, from hitting J’s pelvic bone of his way out. She later said that she could still feel some despite the epidural and that it felt like he kept getting stuck. Because she’d had the epidural, she couldn’t help or move to give him room, so she was really frustrated and upset about that and felt like she had hurt him when he came out all bruised. I assured her that she didn’t do anything wrong and that despite the bruising he was perfect in every little way, from his cute little nose down to his tiny toes. He has J’s chubby cheeks and her fingers, but he’s got my weird-shaped elf ear and my nose. We did good baby-making! 🙂

We spent the night with our little guy, just holding him and marveling at the fact that we are finally moms. We finally went to bed around 1 a.m. Friday morning, which just happened to be our 5th anniversary of being together (yes, we are dorks and still count from that first “Will you be my girlfriend?” moment). I told J how proud I was of her, kissed her goodnight, and said Happy Anniversary to my wife. It was a day I will never forget, and one of the happiest of our lives.


38 Weeks

There isn’t much to say today, except that there are only 15 more days until our due date! Within two weeks we could be holding our son in our arms and wondering just what we ever did without him. Until then, there is not much else to do except for wait…wait…wait.

We’ve done our practice runs to the hospital (convenient since it is right next to our OB’s office) and packed our bags for J and Jax. We know when to call the OB or head to the hospital. Everyone’s on standby and my work knows I’m taking the week off right after he’s born. I think we are ready…now if only Jax would get the memo to hurry up! 😉

J has begun feeling Braxton Hick’s contractions on a daily basis. She’s had a couple episodes so far today in fact. So we know her body is getting ready and it is really just a matter of time before Jax makes his big debut. YAY!

And since Jax is the length of a leek this week, I thought the following picture was fitting and funny. We took it forever ago while grocery shopping…who knew it would ever be relevant?! So here you go, this is me being a geek with a leek. 🙂

B & the Leek

Hope everyone has a great day today! 🙂

Week 38 - Leek

Jaxson is just as tall if not taller than a leek now and is weighing somewhere between the average birth weight, between 7 and 10 pounds. The white coating on his skin, the vernix caseosa, is slowly shedding since he won’t need waterproof protection for much longer. His eyes have color now, but it will probably darken in the months after he’s born. We are both hoping that he’ll have green eyes like J, but I guess we will have to wait to see! He’s got a firm grip and all of his organs are ready for outside life now.

Jaxson is ready for the world, but is the world ready for him?

37 Weeks

After (literally) months of waiting, the baby watch has officially started! While I know it is entirely unlikely that Jax will appear on time, or even early, the usual time frame for babies being born starts this week and stretches to 41 weeks (although we really hope not!). There are 22 days left until his due date, and while my mom says I should stop counting to avoid a negative number when he’s running late, I can’t!

Everything that we could possibly have ready and prepared ahead of time is done, to the point where we look around the nursery for something to do/wash/clean/etc and end up sadly saying, “Well, I guess we’re all done here.” Except for actually having a baby in the crib, of course. 🙂

I got to go to the OB visit this Thursday and meet Dr. Johnson…BIG FAN! Finally, we got an interim doctor that we really like and get along with. Not only is she very down-to-earth and calms J’s nerves, but she included me 100% in the visit too. We all talked about our concerns regarding labor, such as what to do and when to call them and/or come in or go to the hospital. We talked about pain management during labor and Dr. Johnson calmed J’s fears about getting an epidural and asked us to sit down and really think about what we wanted and devise a birth objectives list. She doesn’t call them birth plans, because like with all plans that are made, something almost always goes against the plan. She also gave me some expectations about my role in the labor and delivery process, which I liked.

I finally got my ducks in a row and emailed L in NYC and P in Germany back after they reached out to me on the blog. Our initial apprehension about the whole thing has dissolved and I think it is great to find others with common ground, even around the world. The one thing that I liked, is that all of us aren’t sure how in touch we’d like to be over the years, but we do agree that some sort of contact is a good idea. So at least we are all on the same page. I got a very nice reply back from L in NYC – she and her wife are due in May. I am SO glad to have found another lesbian couple that is sharing our journey, as that is something very rare to come by, especially where we live. I am glad that this blog has helped us all to connect and I hope that if there is anyone else out there that used Todd as their donor, that they too will get in touch. Consider this an open invitation!

We started cake decorating classes last week…it was fine and we learned some good tips about cake baking that we hadn’t thought of and that could translate over to baking cheesecakes as well. We did some basic cookie decorating and the only hiccup in the night was the usual question from the instructor, “Are you two sisters?” She was nice about it when we politely said “No, this is my wife.” and moved on. However, the woman sitting next to J then proceeded to act as if we had the plague and she would catch the gay if she touched anything of ours. She scooted her chair over, would barely take paperwork from J when we had to pass it around, and was generally overwhelmingly homophobic. This is not something we are new to, unfortunately, and afterwards this woman and the instructor were talking about the church service they attended on Sunday, and it all made sense. I grew up in a Christian setting, so I understand where they are coming from, but unfortunately many of them get confused at the “hate the sin, love the sinner” mantra and drop everything but the “hate” part. One of my best friends is 100% Christian and has NEVER treated me in a poor manner because I am gay, so to have the majority of other Christians treat us with such contempt is really upsetting.

I know that the road ahead for us, and for Jax too, is one that will be challenging at times. But I hope that we instill in Jax a good sense of self and appreciation and love for all others, regardless of their race, creed, gender, or sexual preference. I hope that we raise a well-rounded boy, that is good and kind and loving, yet strong and willing to stand up for himself and others. I guess that is all that any parent – gay, straight, or single – could ever hope to achieve. See, we’re not that different from each other after all. 🙂

Week 37 - Winter Melon

I’ve never heard of a winter melon, but that’s how much Jax weighs this week, about 7 pounds. He is considered full-term now and if he decided to make his big debut, he would most likely be ready to take on the world with little to no problems. He may have a full head of hair already (if he’s anything like J he might come out with a full-on afro!) and he’s already preparing his first poop for us to change his diaper. He keeps on practicing inhaling and exhaling, sucking, gripping, and blinking, and of course some kickboxing moves too. His hiccups are a daily occurrence now (sometimes many times a day) and its funny to see J’s stomach rolling around from his movements.

I hope Jaxson is just as ready to meet us as we are to meet him!

36 Weeks

FOUR. MORE. WEEKS. 29 more days until Jaxson’s due date. Less than a month now until our little man marches into our lives and steals our hearts in person. I can’t wait!

J is beginning to get nervous about the birth, but I think her current discomfort is outweighing her fears for now. She’s ready to have him outside of her womb and in our arms already! Everyone keeps sharing their birth stories, some good, some bad, but I know that it won’t be anything compared to experiencing it yourself. For once, we have relinquished some control when it comes to our birth plan – we’ll just have to see how it goes when we get there. This is one thing you can’t be in perfect control of, and that’s okay. Its setting the precedent for the next 18+ years for sure!

We bought some more wall decals for the nursery and it looks super adorable. I haven’t posted any pictures of it yet, and now that we also put on the bedding, I think its time to show the finished product.

nursery1 nursery2 nursery3 nursery4 nursery5 nursery6 nursery7

We are definitely ready for Jax to get here. J thinks that he will come early if not right on time. I have always wanted him here on February 1st because that is our original anniversary and I just think that would be neat. It is J’s first kid and usually they run later, so I guess we will just have to wait and see. I am just ready for my turn to hold him already! J’s been hogging him for the last 9 months! 😉

Oh, I almost forgot to mention, the other day we received an email from P., another mom that used our same donor. They are just coming out of the woodwork! She wrote a very nice email and I will be sure to pass it along to the other moms we’ve made contact with. Jax has two half-sisters floating around out there, the one in NYC and now we know of one in Germany! Everyone keeps encouraging me to keep up with the blog after Jaxson is born and I will most definitely be doing so. All of the people who have contacted me because of this blog and our friends and family all love reading our updates and hearing about what is going on in our lives. I think its a great way to keep in touch and I am always so happy to hear that people like hearing what we have to say, even those not related to us in the day-to-day sense. We even have a reader in Thailand! We feel like Celesbians (celebrity lesbians LOL) with all this attention. I am just glad that what I set out to accomplish, writing a blog relating our experiences as lesbians making babies and showing that we are just normal like everyone else, is getting the attention I wanted it to and reaching the people it needs to. J keeps saying that I need to write a book and become famous, so maybe that will be the next step. It is something I have always wanted to do, so it might just happen!

I really do appreciate all of the support we get here on the blog and in reality. Your words of encouragement are much appreciated and I’m glad that I’m at least giving you all something (marginally?) entertaining to read. I know some posts are more mundane than others, but I assure you that they’ll get much more interesting once he’s a person and not a fruit/vegetable anymore. 😉

Week 36 - Crenshaw Melon

Jaxson is similar to a crenshaw melon this week, and weighs about 6.5 pounds now. He’s most likely already at his birth length, somewhere between 19 and 22 inches. His gums are now rigid and ready for mealtime, and his circulation and immune systems are up to speed. The liver and kidneys are in full working order as well, and he should be able to breathe on his own if he was born now.

Jaxson’s big task these next four weeks is to pack on the pounds before his birthday!

35 Weeks

I know that I’ve said it a million times, but it is truly amazing that we are in the home stretch. If I sound like a broken record, please know it is because I am just so anxious/excited/nervous/impatient/in awe that our baby boy will be here SOON. Now that the bulk of our doctor’s appointments are over, and after 15 ultrasounds (give or take a few), we are just waiting for Jaxson to arrive. Of course we will start having weekly OB checkups here pretty soon, but other than that, it is time for Jax to keep beefing up and for J and I to keep calm and prepare for our lives to completely and incredibly change.

We’ve got the hospital bag packed, we pre-registered at the hospital, all his Newborn-3 months clothing is washed, his bedding and blankets are washed and ready to go on the crib, the stroller is put together, the car seat is installed, and everything is finally just right in the nursery. We’ve only organized and re-organized it about twenty times in the last 3 months, but that’s okay, because at least we could actively do something to prepare, rather than just sit around and wait. I think that these last 5 weeks will go by the quickest and slowest all at once – quickly because its ONLY 5 more weeks and slowly because its the LAST 5 weeks.

The excitement is definitely building for us and our families too. Now that we have the great news that J no longer has placenta previa, we can plan for a natural birth. Not to knock anyone that does choose to (or has to) have a C-Section, but it was just something we didn’t want to have to go through if we could help it. So it was a huge relief to hear that it wasn’t going to be mandatory. Also, to go along with our natural birth, that means that both of our moms can be in the delivery room. If we had had to have a C-Section, it would have just been me allowed to go in, which would have been fine, but if at all possible we wanted our moms to experience this with us too. I know they are so excited! 🙂

Now that we are down the wire, sleep is the most important thing J needs, but due to major heartburn, Jax’s hiccups and kicks, difficulty breathing, me snoring/humming in my sleep, Bubba (our cat) yowling at the walls or generally being noisy…sleep is a luxury J isn’t able to indulge in much lately. Yet, despite immense exhaustion resulting from said lack of sleep, J’s nesting instincts have been in overdrive lately and now that she is stuck at home all day, she doesn’t have anything better to do than clean. I have to say, I like our arrangement of her being a stay-at-home mom a lot so far. It feels good to come home to a nice clean house each day after work, and once Jaxson is here, it will be nice to know that he hasn’t been stuck in daycare all day with someone else caring for him. Don’t get me wrong – once he is potty-trained or close to it, he’ll be going to daycare! But for now, while he’s an infant, I like that one of us will be home with him to care for him and enjoy all the special moments of babyhood. I love coming home to my wife at the end of my day now, and I am looking forward to coming home to my family at the end of the day in a little over a month.

Thirty-six days and counting…Wow.

Week 35 - Coconut

J’s uterus is now about 1,000 times its usual size, growing from about the size of a fist, and now rests just under her rib cage at this point. I’m sure it feels like she’s carrying around a basketball, one that kicks and punches! Jax can hear everything now that his hearing is fully developed, and responds best to high-pitched noises (they penetrate the womb the best). He’s weighing about as much as a coconut now, just over 6 pounds and is topping out around 19 inches. He is head-down now and locked and loaded and ready for D-Day!

Jax won’t be doing somersaults anymore, but his kicks and punches should remain just as frequent.

34 Weeks

There is only 6 weeks left and it seems like an eternity and such a short amount of time all in one. Christmas was fun and we received some last gifts we needed for Jaxson as well as Target gift cards to buy what we didn’t get as gifts (we got the pack-and-play from my parents and bought a mattress pad and sheets for it). I think our nesting instincts are in overdrive right now as we organize and re-organize all of his things. We have washed all of Jax’s outfits up to 3 months and while we have curbed our outfit buying tendencies, both of our moms have kept buying him outfits (in 6+ month sizes of course!). Needless to say, Jax will want for nothing and be an extremely well-dressed boy if nothing else. 🙂

J went to her OB visit this week and her blood pressure came back a little high at 140/80. J has never had blood pressure problems in her life, but the nurse had her lie on her left side for a while and when they re-checked it, it was perfect again at 110/60. The doctor has given her orders to lie on her left side for at least an hour each day, in addition to the time she spends in bed at night, just to help keep her blood pressure in check. She also has to go back on 1/3 for a blood pressure check again. J also got some crazy news at this appointment – Dr. Carlin, the OB that is taking Dr. Connors place while she’s on medical leave, will be leaving as of January 1st. Apparently there is some issue with the billing for a temporary doctor, so they cannot stay on longer than 60 days. So J is definitely getting some practice in patience and dealing with change during this pregnancy and will see a new doctor starting this week. At least Dr. Connors returns at the beginning of February, so hopefully Jax stays put until then.

However, speaking of Jax’s birthday, we found out some exciting news about J’s labor and delivery. We called the hospital yesterday and asked the labor and delivery unit how many people could be in the delivery room. The nurse said that a few people can be in and out during labor, but during delivery it is generally up to the doctor, but usually it is two people allowed. However, the only exception is for both grandmas and the mother’s partner to be present – so win! Both of our moms should be allowed to be in the room during the delivery. J had waffled back and forth about it for almost the entire pregnancy, but we feel it is really important that they are both there and it looks like they will be. Yay!

Over Christmas we took wagers from both of our families as to what his birthdate, height, and weight will be. We don’t know yet what the prize for being the closest guess will be, but I think it is fun thing to do to pass the time. I wonder who will win? Here are the guesses:

Jaxson Predictions

I can’t believe that we hit the 8 month mark today and are quickly approaching 2013! It is incredible to think that the majority of 2012 was spent getting pregnant and carrying Jax and now, he will be here soon. I can’t believe how much we all love him already and can’t wait to meet him and see everyone’s love for him continue to grow. I know I can’t wait! We go back to Dr. Morales on 1/3 to check on the status of the placenta previa and to measure Jax to make sure he’s growing well. We are both excited to see Jax again! 🙂

Week 34 - Honeydew

Jaxson weighs as much as a honeydew melon now, about 5 pounds. He is also getting really close to his birth height, around 18.5 inches this week. He can recognize and react to songs you sing to him and may even find them soothing once he’s born. Jax should also be descending lower into the pelvis soon, preparing for birth, and giving J a little more breathing room as he moves away from her lungs. The only downside will be that Jax will literally be sitting on her bladder, so she may have to live in the bathroom for a few weeks.

Jax can regulate his body temperature pretty well now thanks to the layers of fat he’s been adding these past few weeks!

33 Weeks

Since I posted so late this past week, there isn’t really much to report at this time. Jaxson keeps getting hiccups, so it looks like he is bouncing around all over J’s stomach at times. He still moves and kicks A LOT and I get to feel him quite frequently now. My sister will go up to J and poke her belly and I am just waiting for the day that Jax will poke her back. I think she would freak out!

Christmas is quickly approaching and it is hard to believe that December has come and nearly gone, meaning that 2013 is just around the corner. We survived the Mayan “end of the world” just fine and luckily our Christmas gifts we purchased will not go to waste. I get off work early on Christmas Eve and we are spending the evening with J’s parents and cousin and we are spending the day with my family on Christmas and I am really looking forward to it. My Dad decorated the house this year so it looks very festive. J and I have talked about what we will celebrate at home in the future, and of course Hanukkah is a given. But I have always wanted to have my own tree and while we can’t have a real one due to J’s allergies (and the mess, let’s be honest they shed entirely too much and are way too expensive!), she has agreed to having a fake tree for me to decorate. I don’t see a problem with letting Jax celebrate both holidays, as we each come from a different background, consequently so does he. So next year I am looking forward to picking out a tree with him and hanging stockings. Luckily I have always loved blue and silver tree decorations, so at least our Christmas tree will keep with the Jew color scheme. Maybe Jax will help decorate too, as much as a 10 month old can of course. Perhaps he will just have to supervise this upcoming year. 🙂 I want to make our own stockings too, as J pointed out, we will actually have to have gifts at our house this year instead of just bringing them all to our parents’. I wonder if having a child will help put us all back into the holiday spirit, as it was a little dampened this year. It was just hard to get very excited. My mom says it is just because we are ready for it to be over and for February to be here already because we are more excited for Jax’s arrival. I think she may be right!

We have a few blog followers/friends who have given birth this past week and it is so exciting even though they are so far away and we have never met. Our thoughts have been with R & AW over at Double Trouble Bangkok and their twin girls that were just delivered on the 21st. And then there is C who happened to use our same donor and she had a very adorable baby girl on the 20th. It is amazing to see how much Jaxson’s ultrasound pictures look like the baby, I mean after all they are technically related via our donor. At first we felt a little weird about the whole thing when C first contacted us, after all, it was uncharted territory and just WTF do you do? But I think it will be fun to keep in touch and see how our babies grow and for Jax to know that yes, there is someone else out there much like him. Who knows? It could come in handy some day.

We spent a few hours yesterday putting together the stroller (which was much, much easier to do than the bouncer/swing combo) and getting all of the stuff ready to go into the car to stay (mirror, car seat mat, shopping cart cover, and of course our awesome convertible car seat). I have been waiting for ages to put the car seat in the car and now that January is just around the corner, J says she will let me do it soon. YAY! I get all excited about the baby gear, and we still need to get an alternate car seat for my car so we won’t have to switch it between cars every time. We packed the baby’s bag for the hospital, in the awesome Paul Frank diaper bag we found on sale for $5.00, and picked out an outfit or two (or three) for Jax’s coming home. We weren’t sure how big he would be, hence the couple of outfits to account for varying size. 🙂 J’s bag can’t really be packed just yet since she uses and/or wears most of the items on a daily basis, but we have made a list of what we’ll need to bring for her on D-Day so we are ready. She has been crazy nesting, cleaning everything in sight, and today actually complained to me that she had nothing else to clean. So she settled on doing some laundry. She is really popping out and it is getting hard for her to do the simplest things, like sit for too long, but she is hanging in there and now that her cold is finally going away/gone, it has helped her to cope with pregnancy aches and pains much better.

I can’t believe that we are finally coming to an end of our pregnancy journey and that Jaxson will be here sooner rather than later. There are only 7 weeks to go and incidentally, next Saturday marks our 8th month of pregnancy. There’s really not much time left at all, although it still feels like ages until we will meet our son. After all, it will be next year when he arrives! 🙂

Week 33 - PineappleJaxson is now close to 18 inches long and weighs close to 4.5 pounds this week, similar to a pineapple. His wrinkled skin is smoothing out now and it looks like an alien has taken up residence in J’s stomach at this point. Jaxson is beginning to coordinate breathing with sucking/swallowing, which is a very important skill he’ll need outside of the womb. As a creepy factor, he can sleep with his eyes open now, but let’s hope he doesn’t keep that up once he’s arrived!

Jax is having more major brain development this week – YAY smart baby!

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